I cannot stress enough how much we appreciate the continuous support, love, and prayers from family, friends and people we have never even met. I’m currently sitting in a hotel room in Oklahoma thinking about how crazy life has been over the past week and how we got here. Here meaning how in the heck did I get to Oklahoma?! I have no doubt that it’s from the thousands of prayers that have been said for us over the past couple of weeks. So thank you times a million and please, PLEASE keep them coming. God is working on something BIG, I can feel it. Literally, I can feel it in my brain.
So why are we sitting in a hotel room in Oklahoma? It’s actually a pretty great story. One that I might also refer to as a “sign” (I really love when God sends us signs). Right after I found out that I had cancer, I reached out to a friend of ours who had also had cancer. It was a different type, but he kicked its ass none the less. I wanted to get some insight on what to expect with radiation and chemo and while we were chatting he asked if I planned to start a blog for updates and what not. I was planning on keeping a personal journal to work through emotions but I hadn’t even considered a blog. What a great idea! It’s so much easier to keep up with this and it keeps my friends and family members up to date on what is going on. So I started a blog 4 days ago. FOUR. I had no idea how fast my blog would travel. My first post alone got over 18,000 views (which isn’t actually that many but when I picture 18,000 reading what I wrote it seems like quit a few people!) As fate would have it, within 24 hours my blog made it to a neurosurgeon. A neurosurgeon who specializes in the removal of gliomas in critical areas of the brain. Coincidence? Hopefully by now you realize that coincidence just doesn’t exist. How did it get there you might wonder? My brother in law shared my post, and one of his friends liked it. Because his friend liked it, it showed up on that person’s newsfeed where one of that’s person’s friends saw it (getting confused yet?!) It turns out that THAT person works with a neurosurgeon and reached out to him AND to me. The neurosurgeon then also reached out to me directly and asked me to send him my scans and said he would take a look at them for me. (Clear as mud, right? Recap: I wrote the blog, A shared it, B liked A’s share, C saw B’s post, C reached out to me and shared with D, the neurosurgeon.)
We were extremely anxious about getting his opinion because we have had a couple surgeons look at my scans and they just won’t touch it. On our way to Disney on Monday, we got the response. He could do it. He has done it before and even though my condition is rare, he believes he can do it successfully. WHAT!? Suddenly my inoperable brain tumor may be operable?! By the grace of God we were able to minimize the discussion of this while at Disney and enjoy the day as a family (seriously, can you imagine how hard that might be??). But as soon as we hit the car to head home our heads were spinning. Not only could he do it but he could do it this week. This is major surgery. This is one of those crazy surgeries where you are having major brain surgery while awake. I mean, sure, I did that with the biopsy but this is way more intense. This is what the other surgeons wouldn’t do. Obviously there is risk. We know this. Trust me, we know this. But we also know how aggressive glioblastomas are and the only real hope for survival is resection or removal of the rumor. I’m terrified to have this surgery. I am so scared. But I’m more scared NOT to have it. I would rather be alive with side effects than to not be alive. I love this life that God has given me. I love my husband and daughter so much. I will do anything to be here with them. Even if it means having a craniotomy.
So that’s where we are at haha. We are meeting with him tomorrow (Thursday) and will have the surgery scheduled for Friday morning. I know I have asked a million times, but I have to keep asking because the Lord is listening. Please continue to pray for us, for healing, for understanding, for us to be able to discern what the Lord is calling us to do. Even though we feel very called to be here I want to be open to what God wants, even if that means walking away tomorrow. We know God is listening and answering our prayers.
I have one more favor to ask. I believe very deeply in the power of prayer and I would love it if you could comment with a way I could pray for you or someone you know. I want to use my time before, during, and after surgery in prayer and I would love to pray for you. If you would feel more comfortable messaging me privately, please do. I just want to use this in a way to help other people, and honestly, reading is good physical therapy for me. Thank you thank you thank you for the continued support and prayers.