What if God was one of us?

Cancer is not pretty people. I’m 5 radiation and 2 chemo treatments in and I’m over it. The fatigue is so intense. I can wake up at 8 and be ready for a nap by 10. Except that my nap gets interrupted by the fact that my lunch wants to resurface. And my head has so much pressure that I think it might actually explode! I try and keep a smile and a positive attitude, but man, cancer simply sucks.
I am currently typing this from my cell phone in the ER. Don’t freak out people, I’m fine! (Well, mostly). My headaches today skyrocketed from being under control to full blown child labor of the brain. They think it got so bad because im off steroids now so back to steroids I go! I better have a six pack by the end of this! But still no hydrocephalus so that’s good news!
Being in the ER has been quite the experience. I have a whole new appreciation for ER doctors. At one point I thought I might actually be on a hidden camera show because of how many crazy things and people were around me. I won’t share The details of what I saw because I’m sure that’s some violation of hippa or just being a decent human, but I will say all I could think as I smelled the person next to me was that song “What if God was one of us?” I am no better than the woman or man next to me and for all I know, that could be Jesus. So i simply offered up a smile to every crazy person that walked by. Although I don’t think they saw it behind my mask (I got to wear a cool mask since I’m a sickly chemo girl). You seriously don’t know where people have been or what their story is.

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28 thoughts on “What if God was one of us?

    1. You just keep writing updates for people like me caring and loving every bit you write…Your words are sooooo interesting…I only wish I had my son Zaron write his thoughts 15 years ago.. I t would have helped express the molment and get through to the next molment that was so unknown…. You are so brave your Special Teacher to others along your precious journey… I wish I could be a Jeannie to tell your future….just believe in the unexpected. …I do want to say that I still have the mesh mold that he had to be locked down in place to get his radiation between his chest and his ear lobes…for his Hodgkins Lymphoma but I just wanted to say everytime we talk about that time we have to laugh because nobody knew why this 1 inch by 1 inch ball like shape stuck out of his mold for his face mesh mask made for him….until I said omg what is that ball shape and Zaron said ,Mom it’s not another lump it was a jaw breaker I had in my mouth it kept me calm after several attempts to make mask and the I still have that mask . Something a person that didn’t go thru radiation would ever know the steps to get the perfect spot absolutely correct to the bullseye…His strength would be stronger when he first got is chemo then as he went a few days he would lose strength but then weeks in after several treatments all of a sudden from sleeping in living room and not being able to make the stairs to his downstairs bed room I heard him holler mom I can run up an skip two steps mom I can do it by myself. Yeh mom I ME MOM I CAN DO IT AGAIN…. Thank god my legs are getting back to being mine again Mom… Just like my Doc said I would……Stay strong Stephany. Your ups and downs all has its reasons for recovery in such a Beautiful person your are….A special Hug is sent your way….my Thoughts and love sent your way…

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  1. Stephanie….you are nothing short of amazing! I don’t recall having an excess of smiles during chemo, but after all you’ve been through, it sounds as if you’re still managing.

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  2. I was hoping to read a new post from you today. You are no far from our minds. We continue to pray for you. Praying for strength, for no pain, for great recovery, for health. Sending you hugs from the middle of the world, Quito, Ecuador

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  3. Wow! So true. Thank you for reminding us that God is everywhere and we are to always be humble and kind. You never know how people feel or their circumstances. Continued prayers πŸ™πŸ»β€πŸ™πŸ»

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  4. Prayers being lifted up for you sweet lady. Especially for those headaches! Thank you for smiling at those who probably never get smiled at, unless it’s in mocking. Even if they didn’t see your smile, their hearts felt it. And God saw it. Mission accomplished.

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  5. Hi Steph,

    Hang in there. You’re in our prayers. You’ve got a whole passel of folks at St. Mary’s in your corner with you!

    Jim

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  6. Praying for a good day for you today. You are so amazing. With all you’ve got going on, you still reach out to other people!

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  7. Sweet Jesus please help Stephanie and her doctors manage her pain and nausea. If it is Your will, heal her body of this cancer this tenant. You oh Lord are our hope. Thank you for all the miracles thus far. Thank you Stephanie for reminding us how we need to look within before judging others. God bless you

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  8. Awwww I’m sorry to hear it’s so rough. Talk to your doc about switching your nausea meds, I’m sure they can make it better. Also, if your headaches get too bad, ask them for some painmeds. I still take 2 mg of dilaudid every night for headaches, if I don’t, I can’t sleep. Hopefully the steroΓ―ds are gonna help too. Be kind to yourself and rest… you’ll get your rythm going in no time. Don’t hesitate to write. You got this mama!
    β™‘β™‘β™‘

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  9. Thank you, Stephanie. You’ve gleaned a beautiful perspective out of a pretty awful challenge. You are helping all of us who have come across your story see how hopeful life can be when we choose God’s perspective and we choose kindness even while we are hurting. Thanks for continuing to share.

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  10. So sorry to hear you are still suffering. Just remember it wont be much longer. We are all still praying for you.You are a strong girl with so much to get well for. Hang in there sweet girl.

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  11. Hi Steph – after reading your post I am not sure whether to smile or frown. I know from your description how much pain you most certainly must be in, yet you muster up comedic words that make us laugh πŸ™‚ The fact that you can even think while in the ER just amazes me. Thank you Lord for this ray of sunshine named Stephanie
    – I pray for her complete healing and for as minimal pain as possible as she proceeds to kick her intruder that has taken up residence. Amen!

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  12. Stephanie, you are in God’s hands– you have fine doctors and care staff, keep them busy! You WILL feel better, they just need to get you the right meds. πŸ™‚
    Praying always for your continued healing.
    God was one of us– and Jesus wore a crown of thorns, which now you share a little part of. No small task, keep peace.
    Take Joy!
    Love you!

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  13. Stephanie, I hope you get some relief soon! To think of others in a positive way while you are carrying your cross is quite a selfless act!! Hang in there!! The way you are dealing with your trials is helping to shine a light for others! Love, hugs and continued prayers! ❀

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  14. I have to say Stephanie that I your humor and totally frank view and faith affect my soul. I ache that you are in so much pain and so sick. I’m not the best person in praying or going to church. You bring out so much in me. I know God is with you in giving you strength and support through all this. And yes What if God was one of us. Jesus was once that guy next to us walking among and being the example his father wanted him to be. Hugs you virtually! 🌹

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  15. Keep your positive outlook and hang in there, Stephanie. Many prayer warriors are keeping you on daily prayers, including Dan and me. Love from Virginia, Jenny Crawford

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  16. I remember the nausea that chemo brings and the irritation of radiation. Hold strong to your Faith and you will get through this!!

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  17. I am still praying for you girl, there is a group of us from work sending out that Target spirit in the form of prayers as well. I simply can’t imagine what all you are going through but I can say to keep the faith and God will get you exactly what you need. HUGS!!

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  18. I have found that listening to the Divine Mercy in song and praying the Sorrowful Mysteries of the Rosary can bring consolation when the pain/suffering is extreme. Also, gazing on the Divine Mercy Image has drawn me closer to Jesus than I ever could have imagined.

    Our family continues to pray for you. Keep sharing! It’s also soothing to the soul to be united with the body of Christ.

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  19. Hang in there Sweet girl!!! You are one tough and precious warrior!!! Yes… I hate Cancer also and chemo does suck!! However you
    Are covered in prayers by many many people
    When you think it is too much, remember God will carry you ! Stay focused on the good things of the day, stay positive , and know you CAN “do all things through Christ who strengthens us”. Here’s (((( HUGS)))) to you tonight!!

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  20. Still prayin for you. Just found all your updates. I love reading them. Your sense of humor is priceless. I pray that God totally restores you! Cancer be gone in Jesus name! I bind it in Jesus name. His word says whatever we bind on earth will be bound in heaven. Stay positive..speak positive. God bless you!

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  21. Steph, you just keep on keepin’ on. You are an amazing young woman, and I’ve been praying since I “met” you that you completely and totally kick this cancer’s butt. All my thoughts and prayers are with you during this trying time. And remember, God is right there with you, your family, and your care-givers. He’s got this!

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  22. I am so sorry you had such pain yesterday. I was really busy yesterday and didn’t read all my email so didn’t see this post until now. I love that you thought – everyone has their own problems and we just don’t know what others have been through. That is just simply the truth and if everyone would think like that, what a wonderful world it would be!

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