Just a kiss 

I feel like I have a lot to talk about but most of it doesn’t tie together. So we will see how this goes. This hair situation is getting a little crazy. And to make matters worse, one of my curls from the wedding turned into a dread lock. So I look like I’m wearing a toupe on top and rocking a dreadlock in the back. I don’t hate it enough to shave it yet but I have resulted to retail therapy in the form of hats. It could definitely be worse but I don’t enjoy it by any means. But on a good note, today is my last daily shot, at least for a while! So slowly but surely my body is getting more and more medications out of it. 
When this all began about two months ago, Michael and I turned to prayer. We knew, and still know, that prayer and the hand of God, would be the only thing that could get us through this. We started praying the rosary together. Now to back up a little bit, I’ve never been one to pray the rosary. But man, it is so powerful and so beautiful. For those of you who don’t know (because I didn’t for the longest time), it’s not about worshiping or praying to Mary. At all. It’s no different than asking a close friend,or a family member to pray for you. youre asking Mary to pray for you. The mother of God. Thats not a bad person to have on your side, praying for you. So we started praying this together daily about two months ago and it has brought so much comfort and peace, for both of us. There is a prayer in the beginning though that gets me every time. “If what we ask for should not be granted, pray that we may receive that which will be of greater benefit to our soul.” This part is really beautiful but every time I say it I can’t help but think “what if the greater benefit to my soul is to leave this earth?” This is where I have been struggling lately. I dont know how to pray for this. For God’s will. I want to be completely healed, but I feel selfish asking for that when I know I should be praying for His will to be done. But I love this life that He has given me so much. So do I pray for healing or His will? This has been my struggle. 

When we pray the rosary together, there is a part of it when you ask for others who have gone before you to intercede your prayers (asking them to pray for you). We have chosen a few Saints, ones that have revealed themselves to us in one way or another. One of those is St Peregrine, the Saint of Cancer. His story really struck me. He had cancer on his leg that had spread and he was going to have his leg amputated. The night before this surgery he was praying in front of the cross and in this time, he fell asleep. He dreamt or vision of Jesus descending from the cross and touching his leg. When he awoke, he was healed. A true act of God and a miracle.  I love that story so much. While we were flying I dozed off. I woke to someone kissing my temple. I looked over to see if it was my mom or Sarah next to me but they were both asleep. And Michael was across the aisle on the other side. It was so weird. That night I went to bed like normal and when I woke up, I didn’t have a headache. This was the first time in months that I didn’t have a headache when I woke up. Now I woke up with one today so who knows, but I like to think that it was a kiss by an angel or Jesus healing me. Taking whatever is leftover away and curing this awful disease.  

Ok last thing for today. Back when all of this started, I wanted to design a shirt to raise awareness and truthfully, I just wanted something I could wear that was unique to me and this “situation.” A super amazing friend of mine compiled all my crazy ideas and brought it to life. It’s everything I wanted: Faith, flying, fighters. And all in a brain. It’s pretty cool! If you want one, here’s the link! https://www.bonfire.com/stephanie-campaign/

 

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11 thoughts on “Just a kiss 

  1. I love to read your posts, they are inspirational. Living together our Catholic faith and praying with you through the miles

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  2. God wants to hear our deepest desires. Continue to pray for complete healing – that’s what I am praying for for you! Asking for Mary’s intercession – she will intercede for us, perfect our prayers, and lift them up to our Heavenly Father through Jesus Christ, her Son. God bless.

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  3. Stephanie – I spoke to Karen and she suggested I send the wig to your address in Florida, since you’ll be heading home soon (what a relief that will be for you!!!) Prayers are continuing for your complete healing.

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  4. Never feel guilty for praying for what you want or need. Pray for healing, ask God for this. He will not forsake us or leave our side.

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  5. Stephanie
    I know a woman who had terminal cancer,
    Leukemia, she was literally dying, here in Wichita, people were praying for her like mad. St Peregrine visited her in the middle of the night two nights in a row. She saw his brown robe and he touched her leg.
    She later recognized him from a picture on a card.
    She wasn’t instantly healed but it was gradual. She saw her deceased grandmother in a dream who told her she would be ok, she is a beautiful Christian Catholic wife and mother with a beautiful daughter who also continues to lead people to Jesus.

    I pray that St Peregrine will also visit you with healing!
    Love

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  6. I think it’s perfectly acceptable for you to pray for what your will is as you pray to learn what God’s plan for you is. Even Jesus did as he prayed in the Garden of Gethsemane :

    ” He went a little farther and fell on His face, and prayed, saying,”O My Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass from Me; nevertheless, not as I will, but as You will.” Matthew 26:39

    Keep listening to the Holy Spirit and be relentless in your petitions..

    Luke 11:9-10 says, “And so I tell you, keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks, receives. Everyone who seeks, finds. And to everyone who knocks, the door will be opened.”

    And I truly believe the peace you feel from praying the rosary will help sustain you as you wait for God to reveal His plan for you.

    By the way; cool T-shirt. Every time I hear the jets at Langley I think of your Michael.

    Love & Peace Always. ❤❤❤

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  7. I agree with praying the prayer of Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane. I have an illness that there is no cure for, Myasthenia Gravis. Thankfully, it’s not considered terminal in the sense that it won’t continue to progress to death. It can however, affect the muscles for breathing and swallowing, and lead to Myasthenic Crisis, which can result in death. It brings me such consolation to pray the words with Jesus,

    “Father, if you are willing, take this cup away from me; still, not my will but yours be done.” (Luke 22:42)

    I also receive counseling from a Priest and he recommended that I pray this prayer regularly:

    “Father, into your hands I commend my spirit”(Luke 23:46)

    He said we only think of that as Jesus’ dying words. But in reality, we should always be placing our spirit in the hands of God.

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  8. You don’t know me, and this is the first comment I’ve made, but you have been in my prayers!

    I just sat under a teaching yesterday about both praying in God’s will AND praying for our desires. God wants us to do both! He was us to put voice to what our heart wants, while also asking Him to align our desires with His. I thought that that was such a good reminder! We shouldn’t ignore our desires by any means, but we can ask the Lord to help us to want what He wants, and He will do the rest.

    Your story is so inspiring! Thank you for writing and sharing, and allowing all of us (even strangers!) to come alongside of you in prayer!

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