Home Sweet Home 

After 2.5 months, we are finally home. It feels even better than I imagined it would. There is just something about sleeping in your own bed that brings so much comfort. I won’t lie, it feels a little weird. When we left here a few months ago, we left quickly and we left in a state of fear. The last time we were here we didn’t know I had cancer, let alone grade IV cancer. My tumor was still “inoperable.” Everything was so different the last time we were here and that energy still lingers. Energy of fear and hope rolled into one. It’s even weirder because I feel like a different person now than I was when we left. I am more hopeful now, my Faith runs deeper, and I’m not scared like I was. I have every reason to be scared, yet I’m not. God has revealed Himself to us in so many ways since all of this happened and that alone is enough to suppress any fears we might have. I realized yesterday during mass that I was released from the hospital on Ash Wednesday and we came home the night of Easter. That’s so crazy cool and symbolic to me. We have had some dark times but through the darkness we can see His light at the end. I’m very far from the end as this journey may be a long one,but knowing that He is here to guide and comfort us in the dark AND light moments, brings us so much comfort. The gift of peace we have received through all of this has been one of the greatest blessings and I have no doubt that that comes from the thousands of people who are praying for us. So for now I’m trying to get all this older energy out of our house and bring light and happiness to it. Man, I sound like my mom! 
Today was my first “day” going solo with Sarah again. I was very anxious about it but I knew everything would fall into place! I also only had her by myself for two hours so I’m being eased back into it all slowly which has been nice. I’ve also had a lot of help. So many friends offering to take Sarah and make us meals. My ego and pride hates admitting that I need help and that I can’t do it on my own yet but it’s been humbling. Learning to lean on others and ask for help. I’m having a hard time finding a balance between taking care of myself and taking care of my family. We still haven’t unpacked everything (maybe about half?) and for those who know me, you know how hard it is for me to see clutter everywhere. But I’m learning to just let go of the mess for now. I simply can’t do everything I used to and I’m accepting that, slowly. 
On our way back from Oklahoma, we made a little detour and went to California since Sarah had never been and we were half way there already. Makes sense, right? We had the most fun and it was the perfect way to end this first chapter. We needed some family fun! Sarah met almost every princess possible and was SO excited! Michaels brother (who works at Disney) made sure Sarah was on the VIP list to meet Anna and Elsa and man, was it a special experience or what! They even gave her an autographed frozen book because they knew what a strong and special little girl she is! Also, check out my hysterical shirt. My awesome friend made it for me and it just cracked me up. There may be a rule against saying “butt” at Disney, but whateva!

So how’s the break going? Pretty amazing. I can tell that I don’t have a bunch of toxins being pumped into my body daily. I just feel better. My head is good 98% of the time and I’m not even taking Tylenol anymore so my daily pill consumption went from 30 and a shot down to 3 and a special drink (heck yea!!) I still get tired fairly easy, but my nausea has subsided (mostly) and that has been the worst of it all. The hair loss is a close second but I deal with the nausea more than I have to deal with my hair loss. The worst of it is in the back so for me if it’s out of sight it’s out of mind! It’s weird, a year ago I would have been mortified to leave the house knowing I had bald spots on the back of my head but now I really just don’t care. I have accepted that in order to get better I’m going to have to deal with some not fun stuff first. I also don’t feel like I can’t complain about my hair loss because it could be (and very well may be) much much worse. But I’ll deal with that when I get there! 

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22 thoughts on “Home Sweet Home 

  1. Your faith is such an inspiration to so many! I am praying for complete healing and restoration as well as peace for you and your family. Through glorifying God, may you and your precious family be blessed beyond measure! I read your posts as soon as I see a notification and tend to look at life a bit differently because of you. Thank you!

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  2. Welcome home. Praising God for these miracles He has given you and allowed each of us to witness them. Continued prayers for you on this journey.

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  3. My daughter graduated from Wright State in 2010. We are good friends from the same small town as one of your friends on fb Katie Grillo Eberts. My husband was diagnosed August 2016 with an inoperable grade 4 Glio. I wonder if it might be possible to speak with you by phone, as we’re hoping this might be an answer to our prayers as well.

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  4. This quote resonates with me: “Easter is meant to be a symbol of hope, renewal and new life.” – – – You have returned home on Easter Sunday with all three. God’s blessed you abundantly!

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  5. From a retired 73 yo RN who is a part of your friend Ally Franklin’s church here in Virginia:
    I look for and love how you are seeing our Lord moment to moment. I also pray and share your journey often, particularly with my quadriplegic friend of 29 years, Kenneth, who has been paralyzed for 44 years and is 61 years old. He knows firsthand, moment to moment, that all God asks of us is to wait for and to trust Him in all circumstances…

    For every message that you send, I thank you and I thank God, for the privilege of being encouraged by you and the opportunity to walk with you, in praise and in prayer.
    jude&Jesus

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  6. I am so pleased to hear you are doing so much better. Praise the Lord
    I pray he will continue to guide and comfort you.

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  7. Praising Him The Great Physician, for His healing hope……so happy for you that you are back to your ‘home sweet home’……where your restoration will soon be complete. Prayers for your continued miraculous journey.

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  8. Welcome home!!!!!

    That negative energy has gots to go! Gots to go! Sa-cur-i-ty!

    It’s probably feeling good to be back in your own home with your own stuff and with your own familiarity. So happy you’re back home. Take it easy. I, like you, know how hard it is to accept and ask for help, but just remember that people want to help so you’re not inconveniencing anyone or bothering anyone. Love you and you’re always in our prayers. Xoxo

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  9. Please go to Facebook: C.K.C…Cannabis Kills Cancer group; they have had successes with glioblastoma patients using Cannabis Oil (THC/CBD). You will find a lot of good information there, too.

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  10. Thank you so much for your beautiful posts and this blog. I am a big believer in prayer and I know God is using you to spread his word! I know you wrote that the statistics are not that great but our God is a lot more powerful than those statistics. Miracles and 100 percent cures happen every day. Even if it does come back, we have no idea how much medical advancement will have taken place between now and then. I’m so sorry that you and your family are going through this but your positive attitude and faith is amazing. I think you should take an amazing family vacation to France and go to the baths at Lourdes. Keep up your Catholic faith! You’ve got this!

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  11. I am sure it feels wonderful to be home in your own house again…and how fun that you took Sarah out to California to DisneyLand before going home! I am thrilled that you are feeling better, too!

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  12. This post makes me so happy to hear! So happy you are home and you have your faith and hope!! And a trip to Disney with a kick butt tshirt. LIFE is good honey – life is good.

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  13. Wow, so happy to hear that you are home and doing well. Have you tried Young Living essential oils? They may help with things such as your hair loss and just overall keeping you healthy. They have been an absolute blessing to myself and my family. Feel free to email me if you would like to hear more!

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  14. Welcome home! You are so right … there is nothing quite like sleeping in your own bed under your own roof after a time away. You keep on keepin’ on, Stephanie. You are SUCH an inspiration … thanks be to God, I have nothing more serious than insulin-dependent diabetes, but I thank Him for my wonderful endocrinologist. He has been SO good to you, Michael and Sarah. You continue on the road to your total recovery. Slow and steady, steady and slow. That’s the way you need to go. (from one of my adult son’s childhood Little Golden books)

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  15. God bless you! You are the representation of hope for many families, and an example of courage and braveness! Long life with your family!

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