Prayers 

I think I may have spoken too soon with our update. As it turns out, everything might not be ok. We got a call today from our new doctor and after having the radiation oncologist look over my most recent scan, they determined we need to come back for a second scan (which wouldn’t be a huge deal except that it’s a 12 hour drive round trip). They can’t tell what’s going on with my scan from last week but believe that bits of my tumor may be floating around or that there may be something “coating” my brain stem which would not be good. So we have no idea what’s going on but we know we have to go back and are praying for the best possible news. 
Getting that call today was hard, even though we don’t really know what’s going on yet. It takes energy to stay positive and hopeful and it’s tough. I have a hard time balancing being hopeful and full of Faith but also trying to be realistic. The problem is that being “realistic” just doesn’t work for me. It’s too sad. Maybe I should accept it, but I just can’t accept that this is it for me. For my marriage. For my family. I just can’t believe that God intended for our family to be a family of two. But I don’t know His plans so I shouldn’t assume that our plans line up. 
As hard as this is, I have to say I am on the better side of this. Seeing your spouse in pain is so hard. He wants nothing more than to take this all away-the pain, the anxiety, the unknown. For all of us. And although he won’t talk about it, I am heartbroken for him and Sarah. Absolutely heartbroken. He was not made to be a young widow. He really is as good as they come. Michael was put here to be a faithful husband, father, son, brother, and friend. And then Sarah. I’m thankful she is young right now and can’t understand/hopefully won’t remember what’s happening. But with that, I’m so sad thinking that there is a possibility that she won’t remember me. Every daughter should know their mother. It’s hard finding Hope and then having test results and doctors make you second guess it all. It’s moments like these when I wish I could be stronger and not go there. I seriously can’t believe this is happening…still. Please continue to pray that whatever these results are, are a step in the right direction and that we can accept them still full of hope…because hope is everything. 

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74 thoughts on “Prayers 

  1. I am praying for you Stephanie. My mom has GBM and is living with my husband and I while she gets radiation treatment. Your blog has been very helpful to my entire family (my sister Becca has been in touch with you) as we navigate through this unknown territory. DO NOT give up hope. Hope is your weapon – hope is my weapon. Sending love to your beautiful family.

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  2. So sad to hear this news. This must be so very hard to understand, why must you endure more uncertainty. We do not know the answer, but God does. As hard as it must be you must give it to God and know he is with you and your beautiful family.
    My prayers are with you.

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  3. My friend from high school is going to Lourdes tomorrow and she asked for our intentions. You will be remembered in prayer with Our Lady!

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    1. First Lord I praise You for Your great glory in all things that are good.
      Tonight…I declare this truth over Stephanie :
      Isaiah 62:11-12 Behold, the Lord has proclaimed to the end of the earth: Say to the daughter of Zion, “Behold, your salvation comes; behold, his reward is with him, and his recompense before him.” And they shall be called The Holy People, The Redeemed of the Lord; and you shall be called Sought Out, A City Not Forsaken.
      In the name of Jesus we agree that Stephanie is sought out and not forsaken.
      The Lord has you Stephanie ! Do not fear but but rather hear the voice of God: Isaiah 43:1-3
      🙏🏻❤️

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  4. I’m so very sorry you’re having to go through this. Hoping and praying that whatever is going on can be dealt with accordingly.

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  5. Praying for you and your family, as I have from the first time I read your blog. God is forever faithful, never changing, and true. He will not heal you and then change His mind. The enemy plants confusion and doubt. Looking forward to your next blog. 💕

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  6. Many prayers. God’s plan is perfect . . Somehow, someway .. It is perfect. Praying for good news but also strength, hope, and peace.

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  7. Father God- where two or three are together in agreement you are in the midst of them. Your word says “whatever we ask of you in Jesus name that it will be done”. We humbly ask for a complete and utter healing of this cancer. Cancer be gone in Jesus name! We ask for the peace that surpasses all understand for you did not give us a spirit of fear but a sound mind.
    The enemy comes to steal our peace of mind and attack us physically as well but You Father are in control and by the blood of Jesus we are made whole!
    Cancer we bind you in Jesus name! Father your word says whatever we bind on earth is bound in heaven and whatever we loose on earth is loosed in heaven. We bind cancer and fear! And we loose healing and peace and a sound mind- in Jesus Holy name! Amen!!

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  8. After I saw your story on the news, I started praying for you and do so a few times a week. With this latest news, know that I will pray more.

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  9. Stephanie, I saw your story on the Today Show. I’m so sorry you are being faced with such a difficult diagnosis. I’ll make this short. I have a friend who is very familiar with your situation. Her husband beat his diagnosis with an overload of plant based nutrition along with a product called Juice Plus. Its the real deal and has been tested and studied in major universities including MD Anderson. Please look it up and review the videos. It is certainly worth trying. I am located in Augusta Ga and you are welcome to reach to me. Praying for complete healing in Jesus name. Love in Christ, Joletta

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  10. You have been on my heart a lot knowing you must be beside yourself and or minds just don’t seem to shut off especially when something like what you are dealing with is upper most in our thoughts. Praying for you and your family asking for healing in Jesus’ name. Place all your trust in Him and let Him carry your burdens your worries.. may you fell His loving arms embrace you and feel His peace. Amen

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  11. I heard this song the morning after I read your update. I immediately thought of you, and I was planning to post the link. I’m sorry that I haven’t posted it before today!

    Just know that I am one of the MANY people, whom you’ve never met, but whose story has touched my heart, who is praying for you and your family every day. We are all members of the Body of Christ, we pray with you & we suffer with you.

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  12. Dear Stephanie ~ so that you know…my (& I believe many others’) prayers intensify each time Faith Hope and Love isn’t in my inbox. 
    He is doing His work His way and, dear young woman, you are also, by His grace.
    Praying for Michael, whose updates gave us a glimpse of his heart while you were in surgery.

    Ph 2:13 … for it is God Who works in you, to will and to act according to His good purpose.

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  13. PLEASE – with ever fiber of your being – hold on to your HOPE. I had a cry over this latest post. Praying so hard for you and your hubby and Sarah xx

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