Today was the day! A new friend of mine suggested picking a date to shave my head because if I had a date and time, I could focus on that and get it over with. The plan was to just do it after Sarah went to bed but Michael came up with the idea of letting her be a part of the whole experience…turning shaving my bald head into family time. I thought I knew exactly how I wanted it all to go (you know me, have to turn everything into a moment!), but I guess not! I was so afraid of Sarah to “see me like that” but I realized she was going to see me like this daily so why not! Plus, I also realized it would probably scare her some if she went to bed tonight and woke up to a mom with no hair. A friend mailed me a book for Sarah, “The Daddy Haircut,” so we have been reading that to prepare her and she really latched onto the idea of me getting a haircut like daddy’s. After dinner, we gathered as a family of 3 in our bathroom after dinner and went to town…on Michael’s hair.
I told Michael, my mom, everyone. I told them all that I absolutely did NOT want anyone else shaving their head. And I still feel that way. Just because I went and got brain cancer doesn’t mean everyone needs to rock a shaved head. But for some reason, in that moment, I really didn’t want to do it alone. I looked at Michael and asked him if he would let me shave his first and he smiled ear to ear and replied “Yes. Absolutely.” Halfway through Sarah looked at me and said “Mommy we are going to need to fix Daddy’s hair.” She cracks me up!
After I (very slowly) shaved Michaels head, I knew it was time. Time to rip it off like a band aid. So I put what hair remained (about half) in a pony tail and gave my 2 year old scissors and asked her to cut it, with Michael’s assistance of course! After they cut off the pony tail, Michael just shaved it. It was weird feeling the electric razor buzz against my head, a feeling I hadn’t ever imagined. It doesn’t feel the same as shaving your legs, just in case you were wondering. But I just sat there and stared at Sarah. Anytime I wanted to cry or feel bad for myself I just looked at her and remembered why I was shaving my head. The hair has to go so I can be here with this amazing guy and incredible girl.
Michael brought up a great point when we were talking about all of this the other day. I was telling him how I wasn’t looking forward to my wearing my alien hat or shaving my head or all the questions and stares. He said “Just think about how many people will come and talk to you after they see your cap!” And he has a point, a great one at that. I have to wear this so that people will ask me about it and I can share this insane but amazing story.