There were several times over the weekend I started to pick up the computer to type and then decided not to. I just didn’t need to. I needed to be with my family and I did just that. It only took me a week to realize I never finished my last blog entry. I’d say that’s a step in the right direction. I’ll go back and finish it at some point but for now I’ll leave it. It gives it character. That’s why I’m not blogging as often though…because I forget that I’m doing it.
Quick update: I’m alive. No regrowth. My body didn’t handle the last round of chemo very well, which is unfortunate, because it means I’ll be starting daily chemo, essentially a lower dose every day (forever?) to see if my body can handle it better. I imagine it won’t be too different from the daily chemo I did during radiation and that wasn’t so bad. I spent some time learning how to draw eyebrows this week. Drawing eyebrows “from scratch” is a serious skill I never realized I didn’t have. It is tough.I’m dreading trying to figure out my eyelashes.
So I’ve come up with this special ritual for my optune. It’s a little ridiculous but what isn’t ridiculous about optune? As I’ve said before, every 3 days the stickers come off and we have to re shave my head. I was so focused on the fact that I was going to have a shaved head that I wasn’t too concerned with the fact that I would actually be wearing something on it, which can get very hot and very annoying. So now every 3 days, I plan my time accordingly around my optune changes. I take time to do my make up, I get dressed, I take a hot bath…you get the picture. Those 6 hours of optune free bliss. Do I want to put a wig on so I have some dang hair or do I want to walk around with nothing because it’s so dang hot! Typically I do the second because of how hot it is but I did make an exception today. For those of you who don’t know by now, grey is the color for brain cancer, which is why we wear a lot of grey around here. A new friend of mine mailed me this new special hat. It may look like your typical “I love someone with brain cancer” hat but I assure you it isn’t. The top has a hole crochet into it to house my optune cords. Guys. It’s an optune hat! My device has it’s first accessory! Maybe I should bedazzle the optune…
Today marks 4 months ago that we found out I had a brain tumor. Interestingly enough, I just came from the place I found out. In some ways it seems like forever and in other ways it seems like this journey is just beginning. We are beginning to find our “new normal” but it’s still pretty weird. The dinner table conversation is still working itself out. but I’m definitely starting to feel more comfortable in my own skin, which is good, because the questions have started coming and I can’t wait!