“…There would be Stephanie who waited to marry until she met a man with deep spiritual roots, a tender approach, and a solid character. The decision to wait for this man, proved crucial in helping Stephanie survive the cancer she’d battle in her late twenties. Now, she was a survivor with a strong marriage and a solid calling to help others facing life altering circumstances.”
Today was nothing short of God speaking to me. My Aunt is reading a book called “The Best Yes” by Lysa Terkeurst and shared the following passage from it. As she read it to me, I immediately broke down. I don’t even know how to process it all, it seems like it was written specifically for me. It was. It had to have been. I mean really? Stephanie? I think maybe I was supposed to see that, what do you think? And the fact that the book is called “The Best Yes.” It reminds me a lot of “the yes story” from my surgery with how in your face God is here. It’s nothing short of amazing.
If that wasn’t enough to lift me up for the next year, this was pretty amazing too. We have family in town right now helping out and today my cousin and I were sitting at the table and she pointed out a cardinal sitting on our fence. I had no idea before but I guess that the cardinal is a symbol of hope. Hope, Faith, and our Christian blood. I smiled and thought that was neat. Then tonight at mass, the girl in front of us had a cardinal (a fake, decorative one) in her hair. I was like seriously?! He knows when I need the reassurance.
A slight change of pace from above, but an update none the less…
Overall, I’m feelin good most days, but mornings are typically rough for me though. I tried having a cracker and a La Croix before I got up today and that seemed to help. I swear, I feel like I’m in my first trimester of pregnancy. My lower back is still really sore from the Lumbar Puncture a couple weeks ago so I’m taking things pretty slowly. I think they may have hit a nerve because I don’t think it’s supposed to hurt this long. I start daily chemo tomorrow for who knows how long. With 4 different types of anti nausea medicine and a smaller dose, we are hoping to have more success with it this time since I had such a rough time last month..
And to finish up this evening, after 5 months strong, and a lot of chats with Michael, I decided to cut back on the ketogenic diet. It gets to a point where what becomes important is that I’m eating, period, rather than starving myself while trying to stick to a specific diet. I can’t tell you how many nights I went to bed hungry because I couldn’t stomach anything. I’ll save you the number (my weight), but I told myself if I dropped below a certain weight, I would alter my diet. So now here we are! Because I’ve detoxed my body of sugar already, I’m still avoiding most sugars, but I’m bringing back the carbs. At least some. I get to the point where I’m so hungry I feel sick, but I feel so sick I can’t eat. It was a vicious cycle. So for now, I’m focusing more on eating and taking care of myself rather than only letting myself eat things that I can’t stomach and don’t want. I will say that the bowl of macaroni and cheese I just ate was nothing short of amazing. So there’s that!